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Academic Writing Task 1  

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Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 5 months ago
Posts: 11
03/07/2019 5:45 am  

If you have any questions related to Academic Writing Task 1, or you would like us to look at your work, let us know here. 


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seham
(@seham)
New Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 2
17/07/2019 11:48 pm  

Hi Sam, could you please check my Task 1 writing?

The graphs show the exact number of people who travel to the city depending on their goals, and the kind of transport they use to get there. Overall, Shopping, Education, and work saw the main reasons, while Social, health and other intense showed the smallest number. Bus, Tram and train are the popular way to go there. 

Many thanks

 


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Sam
 Sam
(@admin)
Member Admin
Joined: 5 months ago
Posts: 11
18/07/2019 3:11 am  

Hi Seham,

I've attached the task image to this post so people can see it.

You have organised your response well, with a paraphrase followed by an overview. In the paraphrase you use the present tense (travel, use) and in the first paraphrase sentence you use the past (saw, showed). In the final sentence you use the present tense again. For simplicity and accuracy, keep your tenses consistent; use the past tense here since the data is from the past.

You say '...work saw the main reasons.' We use 'see' the same way that we use 'experience' - with nouns like 'rise, fall, increase, decrease' etc. Here is an example 'the value saw/experienced an increase over the period'

This means that we can't use 'see' with 'the main reasons'.

Better: 'Overall, shopping, education and work were the main reasons for travelling, while...'

If I were you I wouldn't mention 'social, health and others' because you already have enough info in your overview with the mention of buses, trams and trains. I limit my overview to two main trends, not three.

I hope that helps, let me know if you have more questions.

Sam


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seham
(@seham)
New Member
Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 2
18/07/2019 1:16 pm  

Thank you, Sam, for Your notes really helped me to understand how to use " saw".
I was in a rush, I put my self in the same exam condition.
I will rewrite what you corrected again.

That was super helpful to me

Thanks

This post was modified 2 months ago by seham

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